Tired of the same old bloodsucking vampire stories? Up to your neck in fang-popping fiends?
Meet MORNING MCCOBB
•He drinks a soy-blood substitute called Blood Lite.
•He believes staking should be a hate crime.
•Someday he wants to march in a Vampire Pride Parade. He’s also the first Undead American to out himself and prove that vampires are just another minority with special needs.
The undead get a madcap makeover in: SUCK IT UP
A funny-bone-chilling tale.
And now an interview with the hilarious author:
Why did you choose to write about vampires?
Vampires are the ultimate victims in our victim-culture. Yes, victim. Did most vampires want to become vampires? I doubt it. And once they were turned, how fun can it really be? I mean, would you want to skulk around at night, quaff people's blood, and do it forever? I think vampires are like any other minority with special needs. Yes, they're dietetically-challenged, but that doesn't mean they see every mortal as an MRE (Meal Ready to Eat). There are vampires who want to "come out of the casket." Who want to prove that the dark, blood-lusting lord of the night is an unfair stereotype.
I chose to write about vampires so that maybe, some day, vampires can take their rightful place in out multicultural society.
What makes Suck It Up unique from every other vampire novel?
It's the first vampire novel that's a real bite 'n' tell. Unless there are other vampire novels that lift the lid on such intimate issues as maximus dentis eruptus and "blue gums."
If you could be any supernatural creature, what would you be?
A better writer? Okay, seriously, hmm, I think I'd be Hercules so I could go back and play professional football. Or at least be really good at mucking out stables.
What was your biggest influence on writing Suck It Up?
Easy. While writing for a kid's educational television show I was told I couldn't write a script about a birthday party because Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in celebrating birthdays and we didn't want to offend any Jehovah's Witnesses. It was my eureka moment. If the PC Police were going to protect Jehovah's Witnesses by censoring birthday parties, then gosh darn it, I was going to join the PC Force and defend vampires.
If you had an autobiography, what would it be called?
The autobiography I wish I could live would be, "I Loved Her But the Show Closed." But, so far, the life I've lived is more like "The Escape Artist." I do things really passionately for a time and then move on. I love escaping into the future.