The Compulsive Reader: Change is hard

Monday, June 8, 2015

Change is hard

First up, major thanks to all of you for understanding when I took some time last month to finish my final packet. It's in, the feedback has been received and processed, and now I'm thoroughly immersed in my end-of-semester paperwork which is awful and terrible and sad because it means the semester is very nearly over.

The last three times I poured over the end-of-semester paperwork, I cried and then consoled myself first with Ben & Jerry's, and then with the fact that I was headed to Vermont in a month, and I got to do the whole crazy thing all over again. (And it is crazy.) There would be more workshops, more packets, more feedback letters (more glasses of whisky), and more end-of-semester paperwork. But now it's the last semester, and I'm reaching. WHAT ELSE IS THERE?

I still have to practice my lecture. And figure out how KeyNote works. (Seriously, how does KeyNote work?) And then I have to pick out a piece from my manuscript to read. And then practice. And read workshop submissions. And have my final advisor meeting. And buy my plane ticket. And actually, you know, go to Vermont. And attend workshops. And listen to lectures. And deliver my lecture and reading.

And then when residency is over, I have to do one more round of revisions on the manuscript. One round at least. Likely more. Because Chapter Eleven is a godawful hot mess.

And then start something new, a story idea that has been swirling around in my head for the past year.

As hard as it is to face the change, I'm strangely reassured by this endless litany of things I still have to do. Even though I'm leaving the structure of VCFA's incredible program, I'm still piling items on my to-do list. It's not over, it's never over. It makes the change no less hard, but a smidgen less frightening.

One of those to-do list items is going to be to turn my attention back on this blog. I can't say what this blog will look like post-July. I started with a very rigid idea of what this blog would be and adhered to it pretty well for 5+ years, but after the craziness of the last two years, I'm saying to heck with it. I'm going to read books and write books and talk about that here, okay? We'll see what happens.

So I may be done with semester work, but I'm never done with the work.

I leave you with two pictures of my to-read stacks. One contains proof of my eagerness to binge hard on fantasy novels (also, research). The other is my guilt stack--all the not-kidlit books that I've pretended I've read in the past two years when hand-selling books at work. (I've read the first chapters, and my mom said they were good, so it's not like a complete lie.) (Right?) (RIGHT?)

Fantasy ambitions.

"Oh yeah, great book! Doesn't the premise sound fascinating?"

Now excuse me, I have to figure out how to insert a video into a slide without blowing up the rest of my presentation.

1 comment:

LinWash said...

As someone who has been there, I can only say you'll get through this (especially the lecture). I miss being at VCFA. But the ache isn't as bad, because I'm in so much contact with my fellow Gardeners.
Do what you have to do to fix chapter 11. Enjoy your graduate residency!!!! Wooot!!!